Sunday, July 8, 2012

Top 12 reasons why Ray Allen left the Celtics for the Heat

12) Couldn't resist seeing how hard the fan base turns on him for daring to, well, put the chance to win over money

11) Only way to get out of those irritating ESPN ads

10) After getting dangled at the trade deadline every time Danny Ainge got an itch, somehow lost his loyalty to the Celtics

9) Florida's lack of income tax means that the huge pay cut he's taking to go there, instead of staying in Taxuchusetts

8) Somehow didn't take the signing of Jason Terry as great sign for his playing time

7) Actually noticed that he wouldn't have played at all in the playoffs if Avery Bradley hadn't gotten hurt

6) Like so many other retirees, could not resist Florida's siren call of 3pm dinner buffets, shuffleboard, and using the unbearable heat and humidity to make his the eventual embrace with death to seem nice by comparison

5) If Mike Miller can hit wide-open threes and get a ring while gimping around the court like a third-rate zombie, really feels he can too

4) Like everyone else on the Celtics, up to and including Rajon Rondo, has a real problem with Rajon Rondo

3) Even thought he hasn't been a UConn Huskie for 16 years, still has an unblinking hatred for all things Syracuse, which meant the team's draft of Fab Melo and Kris Joseph was just the last straw

2) Kevin Garnett smells like onions and feet, and punking him is the dream of just about every pro player

1) Despite the revisionist history of Celtic Fan, actually played for a franchise before this one, and as such, is aware that there are other teams and fan bases that care, win games and everything

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