Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Top 10 reasons why the Blazers hired Terry Stotts

10) The fact that you are saying "Who?" speaks fairly well about his affordability and leads to an effective ad campaign / reboot around his mysterious origins

9) Team was very impressed by his excellent work in, um, Atlanta and Milwaukee, I guess

8) Team's fan base has had it too easy for too long with coaches they actually gave a damn about

7) Even Paul Allen isn't dumb enough to sign on for more Kaleb Canales

6) Stotts has a cunning plan to make sure the next big young center's knees don't turn to powder

5) Stotts still has hair to pull out when the new rookie-heavy lineup hits the floor

4) Stotts is part of the George Karl coaching tree, so he's sure to become critically renowned while never winning a ring, too

3) If you want to make LaMarcus Aldridge into Dirk Nowitzki, hiring the Dallas assistant is clearly the only way

2) Only in Portland do they see a third team retread in his mid-50s as the answer to a sudden youth movement tear down

1) As noted before, he comes cheap, and seeing how Allen is bound to run out of money one of these eons, that matters

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