Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Top 10 reasons why the Red Sox are in mutiny against Bobby Valentine

10) Just in case you haven't heard, Valentine is actually a terrible human being, and oddly obsessed with strawberries

9) No Theo Epstein to distract attention away from him, and that eyepatch he keeps wearing in private is also starting to rankle

8) Feel that he's the reason they can't have nice things, like a healthy 3B, good bullpen or decent SPs

7) Replacing liquor and fried chicken during games with grog and hardtack is earning him no fans

6) He left Jon Lester in to allow 11 runs in a start against the Blue Jays, and many of the players have Lester on their fantasy team

5) Being under .500 with a payroll of over $173 million must mean the manager is to blame, rather than the players or GM

4) Dustin Pedroia is really, really sick of being called "Cabin Boy"

3) After years of putting up with Dice-K, an unblinking hatred of anything associated with Japan is kind of understandable, really

2) Valentine is 62, and really, really smells like it

1) Given the media involved and the general tone, it's impossible for the Red Sox to just lose, or for their fans to just accept the occasional down year without some compensating soap opera

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