Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Top 10 takeaways from Augusta letting in women members

Twosome, Amen Corner, Cue The Porn Music
10) Combined with Obama's election, this means racism and sexism have been eliminated in America

9) It was very brave of Tiger Woods to come out in favor of the decision after it happened, rather than, you know, before

8) This now means that the Masters can have just as many commercials as every other golf tournament, just so that meatheads have one more reason to hate women

7) Martha Burk thinks she won due to the decision, which means that the club management is very likely to rescind the decision

6) Finally, very wealthy and famous women will have the same opportunities as very wealthy and famous men

5) Since the club admitted two women, they'll get to play with each other... at night

4) Hootie Johnson is, sadly, still alive to see this happen, and the news didn't kill him

3) Since the club does not say how much it costs to join, or provide figures on annual dues, it's pretty safe to assume they are going to charge the women at least three times more than they charge the men

2) Women got into the club just 22 years after blacks, and there is no truth to the rumor that Condi Rice's club nickname will be Twofer

1) While it's nice to think this is a victory for gender equality, what it really means is that women are now completely free to dress badly, have their bank accounts drained, and waste their time playing a game that frequently doubles as Satan's most cunning invention

No comments:

Ads In This Size Rule