Friday, September 7, 2012

Top 10 Ironic Punishments for Art Modell in Hell

10) All of his tormenting demons wear those dog mask faces

9) Keep bringing him out of the realm of despair, only to move him back in

8) Doesn't get to see what the Master of All Lies has in mind for his fellow owners

7) Dry rectal insertion of $550 million in public money, one roll of quarters at a time

6) Every voice he will hear for the rest of eternity sounds like Tony Siragusa

5) Lord of the Flies gives him particular attention, as he does with all of his pre-bought assets, as payment for that Ravens' Super Bowl win

4) Asked to consult on the construction of LeBron James' suite, but his suggestions are never acted upon and the GoToMeeting never works

3) Al Davis outranks him, which just seems so totally unfair

2) His torments appear on a Jumbotron as a closed circuit channel for Cleveland Fans in Heaven, where his screams of pain and unrelenting torment ensure that it is truly Paradise

1) It looks, and smells, an awful lot like Cleveland

2 comments:

CMJDad said...

Hey Cleveland Fan, pay particular attention the the last statement. I hear that the writer of this blog will be sitting amongst your ranks on Sunday (seat 46, row 4, section D)

The Truth said...

Not arguing your points, but with everything bad about him, he was instrumental in the NFL you have today. Specifically with the TV experience. Not saying Al was a great guy, but he did do some things which have contribute to the NFL I love today.

Ads In This Size Rule