Monday, September 3, 2012

Top 10 Signs Yankee Fan Is Losing It

With today's loss in Tampa, the Yankees' 10-game lead in the East is down to one over Baltimore, and 2.5 over the Rays -- creating the real chance of the greatest of all possible years in baseball, which is to say, one without them *or* the Red Sox in the playoffs. And Yankee Fan is, as you might imagine, gripping just a wee bit...

10) Actually think that the return of old broken-down Alex Rodriguez is going to help things

9) Convinced that the 10 game lead in the standings would still be there if Mariano Rivera was healthy

8) Angry that Oriole and Ray Fan is getting a pennant race despite, you know, not really existing

7) Irritated by Baltimore for being totally lucky, while not noticing the Eric Chavez production

6) Steamed at Ichiro for not getting on base or hitting for power, or, well, being what he is now

5) Unsure of how to handle a year where Boston well and truly sucks, and yet, they aren't totally happy

4) Want to blame Joe Girardi, Joba Chamberlain and Phil Hughes for everything, since that's pretty much their go-to move

3) Fail to see how a rotation of CC Sabathia, Hiroki Kuroda and three question marks hasn't been able to just lock everything down

2) Refuse to believe that the difficulties of the pitching staff have anything to do with the home field bandbox or the statue at shortstop

1) Waking up in a cold sweat over the possibility of actually missing the playoffs for the second time in, good Lord, 18 years

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