Thursday, October 11, 2012

FTT Off-Topic: STFU And Serve

As always with FTT O-T, not sports, yada yada yada, move along or not, no big deal.

One trial, one week, or three dice rolls
Eight times in the past 20 years, I've been called to serve on a jury. Eight times, I've been sent home after a random number of hours that were mostly spent sitting around, waiting to do nothing. And eight times, I haven't had anything even remotely interesting happen to me as a result of this experience.

So if anyone has earned the right to bitch about this overly expensive, tedious and inconvenient process, it's me. (And yes, it is all of those things. Just like, to some extent, every other office I've ever worked in, really.)

Now, when I've told people this, they always ask me the same question --what my secret is for never having served. (As if the people that staff juries every day haven't seen all of this nonsense before.) And the answer is... nothing. I bring a book, don't cause problems, and don't wish ill on anyone involved. And because I can truthfully answer yes to a lot of questions that lawyers like to ask in jury selection conversations, and have had the relative fortune to go on a lot of days when things have gotten settled, it's gone the way it has.

So if you get called, and really don't want to serve, because you feel that your life is far too important to give up any of your time for the shared social contract and optimal system of trial by peers, rather than by "elites" or professionals...

Well, I've just got one thing to ask you to consider.

Have you ever considered that your lousy karma and attitude is what got you chosen in the first place?

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