Wednesday, November 7, 2012

FTT Off-Topic: When I Grow Up, I Want To Be Karl Rove

A True American Hero
As always with FTT O-T... you know the drill. Now, read the header again.

No, seriously.

The Shooter Kids know this, and now you do as well: my very favorite folk tale is "The Emperor's New Clothes," because it has my very favorite folk tale hero -- the tailors, who take the vain king for all that he's worth, give him nothing, and get out of town with a naked idiot behind him, and their pockets filled with gold.

Note that in most stories, the tailors are not hunted down and made to give back the money. Instead, they simply disappear into the ether, set up for the rest of their lives for the simple joy of finding the perfect mark.

Now, back to Rove.

Tonight, he was on Fox News in what Twitter assured me, and I'm sure you will be able to see virally quite soon, in an SNL-level live action skit as he raged against the dying of the light in Ohio. As, well, stated by his very own network and co-workers.

For this, we are assured, he was highly compensated, and probably will continue to be. And has been, well, for a very long time.

So, if you are Rove, to start, you make untold millions of dollars.

The mention of your name is enough, it seems, to cause many people on the other side to part with their cash as well. (So, well, *both* sides need you. Has to be some kickback potential there.)

You swindle some of the worst people on the planet.

You've probably bedded as much Grade A porn-level Fox Handmaiden talent as you could ever want. Seriously, I know they apply makeup over there with a trowel, but they hire young. You could do worse, especially when you look like, well, Karl.

And, well, you aren't even very good at your job, or at the very least, have not been for the last eight years. (Remember, Karl was the architect of the Democrats taking back the House and Senate in 2006.)

After the Citizens United moment,you had untold cash at hand, from any number of spectacularly wealthy individuals who had to look at your offer as a bet that would pay off handsomely. You also had highly-rated television and radio programs to follow whatever dictates you wanted to lay on them.

Assuming, of course, that your job was to actually elect people who espouse your views...

Rather than to just make an awful lot of money, and leave behind naked and broke idiots.

And the best part about it all?

Unlike the candidates, and the tailors...

You probably get to do it all again in two to four years.


Does this guy have the best job in the country or what?

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