Monday, January 28, 2013

Top 10 takeaways from President Obama's remarks about football

Biden, Go Long
Here's the actual article. He doesn't say anything all that crazy to my eyes, but your mileage may vary. Me, I'm just glad he kept me from having to talk about the Pro Bowl.

10) Shockingly, did not weigh in on Jay Cutler, which just goes to prove he's all political and stuff

9) He really should stop worrying so much about college football players, since they are fairly unique among college-aged people in that they already have paying jobs

8) Despite the fact that he didn't say a word about guns, conspiracy theorists will draw a link

7) Didn't say anything about whether his daughters would be allowed to be cheerleaders, since the injury rate for that might even be higher than football

6) Cited how the NFLPA makes him less concerned about the well-being of pro players, since unions are just super-powerful now

5) By having less than glowing words to say about football's injury risks, puts himself at risk for suspension and fine from Roger Goodell

4) Did not confirm or deny the existence of an unmanned drone program against Tim Tebow fans

3) Yes, I totally threw in that gratuitous Tebow remark because I'm trying to sell the blog to ESPN, who require the word Tebow to be included once every 100 words

2) Somehow did not mention killing Osama Bin Laden or predicting/manipulating the NCAA into going to a BCS playoff next year

1) Did not out any NFL player, so this story will die within a day

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