|Go Jump On A Sofa|
9) Does signing up for Allstate insurance give women the voice of a black character actor?
8) How is the new Tom Cruise movie called "Oblivion" about anything other than his career?
7) If I drink Miller, will I get so drunk that I purchase really fruity socks, then race with them on filthy city streets?
6) Did Papa John's book Peyton Manning for their Super Bowl promotion because they knew he'd be free?
5) Is Mercedes Benz going to unleash Satanic hell at the Super Bowl, and if so, how will we know the difference from their ordinary operations?
4) Can we shoot Dominos's guys into the stratosphere without all of that troublesome safety equipment?
3) If I buy a Volkswagon Pasat, does that mean my children won't have access to television or the Internet, and can't see how professionals throw a baseball?
2) Does Best Buy intentionally hire fey big screen TV installers?
1) Why is the E*Trade baby and friend just standing by and allowing for some freakish toddler to molest newborns, and how, exactly, does this sell a stock trading service?