|Foil your evil granddaughter|
9) Does eating Subway food make me laugh about the word "turkey" for no apparent reason?
8) Will buying an iPhone make me dream about the Williams sisters in ways that don't involve porn?
7) If Coors is the banquet beer, does that mean that you aren't allowed to drink it at any other time?
6) Will buying an Acura erase your tattoos?
5) How much responsibility will IBM have in the upcoming Robot Uprising?
4) Isn't the Ahab-esque tow truck operator able to develop some perspective over the years about his Audi problem?
3) Does Liberty Mutual only insure complete idiots?
2) If I buy a Cadillac, will I pick up random strangers for my entertainment?
1) Since Bruce Willis has clearly been replaced by a video game avatar, is there any reason to worry about Die Hard ever dying?