Monday, January 28, 2013

Top 10 takeaways from Jay Ratliff's DUI accident

10) The window of opportunity for the Cowboys to lead the league in DUIs is closing

9) His blood alcohol content of 0.16 doesn't sound all that impressive, but given that the dude is listed at 303 pounds, we can pretty much assumed he drained a keg all by his lonesome

8) You have to admire the commitment to idiocy required to do this sort of thing at age 31 and on his way out of the league

7) This should just be seen as a rather creative way to honor Jerry Brown's memory

6) Ratliff faces up to 20 years in prison, or death by lethal injection if he wasn't a Cowboy of note

5) Shockingly, given the expected cash management skills of your average NFL player, he was able to post bond

4) Just on the principle that bad things happen in threes, someone really should drive Dez Bryant around for a good long while

3) The officer report said that Ratliff was verbally abusive, which given the standards of Texas police, really might not mean that much

2) Commissioner Roger Goodell is going to come down on Ratliff like a bag of hammers as soon as he finds out that Ratliff led with the helmet

1) The cops are clearly making too much out of a pick up truck side-swiping an 18-wheeler, hitting the median and suffering major damage, since, well, Boys will be Boys

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