Thursday, February 28, 2013

Top 10 takeaways from Sausage Gate

Atsa Spicy Criminal
The $3,000 Italian Sausage costume that is used for races at Brewers games is missing and presumed stolen, given that the sausage was seen barhopping around town. As always, FTT has the rest of the story...

10) Three grand is nearly the annual budget for a Wisconsin man's sausage intake

9) Shockingly, booze, theft and social media might not combine for a great life choice

8) No one would steal the Hot Dog costume, since the amount of pig anus in that one is just too much to ignore

7) It's probably safe to think that the thief did the deed to better his chances with Wisconsin women, and that the tactic will work

6) Vegas is 8 to 5 on this leading to an act of cannibalism

5) Police are narrowing down the list of suspects to less than 5% of the population, in that you can't be morbidly obese and fit in the costume

4) The scary thing about this little escapade is that the costume is going to somehow smell even worse when they recover it

3) It's an open question as to whether or not this is racist

2) No one knows who is inside the sausage, which makes sense, in that no one knows what's inside sausage

1) By having the word "sausage" in a blog post six times, I'm going to generate a frankly awesome amount of confused foreign Web traffic

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