Thursday, February 21, 2013

Top 10 ways wrestlers are planning to protest the IOC's decision to drop wrestling from the Olympics

Typical Crowd
10) Moment of silence on the mat, lifetime of silence in the media

9) Inserting horrific smelling singlets into the personal laundry of IOC members

8) Thoroughly unrealistic televised threat speeches that magically never resort to profanity

7) Interminably long women's match that leaves all spectators feeling more than a little dirty

6) Promise to start their own Olympics with totally cooler opening ceremonies, music and medals

5) Simple point that if they don't change their minds, Iran and the United States would team up for the wackiest buddy movie ever

4) Application of submission holds to IOC members with a studious indifference to tapping out

3) Replace all overcoats at IOC HQ with rubber reduction suits, then seal up the building and turn on the heat

2) Provide the IOC with all of the spectacularly bored, petulant and unhappy cheerleaders that have been forced to come to their meets

1) Continued media attention on the utterly ridiculous surviving sports that the IOC kept in favor of something with an actual history, clear winners and losers, and a wide range of countries that compete for medals

No comments:

Ads In This Size Rule