Monday, March 11, 2013

A Disturbing New Addition To... Old Guys You Meet At The Y

This was an unpleasant image search
This one isn't sports, and honestly, just move along. Just as some things that are seen can not be unseen... some things that are read can not be unread.

Folks, I haven't been looking to add to this feature. Frankly, this feature frightens me, because the last thing that I want to do, really, is to start *looking* for these guys. I go to the gym just about every other day, hit the treadmill, weights and hot tub for about two hours, and that's enough of a time commitment to make me want to get out with as little hoopla and notice as possible. Attracting attention isn't good. I keep my head done, do my work, and get out. Honest.

And yet. And yet.

So I'm in the shower, doing the chlorine rinse off. It's not a wildly complicated or long process. It's probably less than a minute of real time. My head is down. I'm not making eye contact. I'm observing all of the rules of shower decorum.

And then, well, IT walks by. And I see IT, for a searing second.

What is IT?

Well, feel free to start the soundtrack here. But feel free to change the word "minds" to "bush."



How to describe? Just that it was... wrong. I shut my eyes as quickly as I could, but not fast enough to avoid, and too slow to confirm the grenade of questions that came up with speed.

Was it manscaped? A shaving accident gone wrong and re-grown? Static electricity? A merkin for a guy fighting off cancer treatments? A Krusty The Klown tribute, perhaps as a lost bet or unfortunate hair spray accident?

I will never know.

I don't want to know.

I've got enough issues sleeping already. And, well, don't want to spend any more time thinking about IT. I'd really like to stop thinking about..IT.

GAHHH.

Oh, and one last thing...

If the guy really was post-op, I'm truly sorry.

That you lived.

Moving on...

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