Sunday, March 17, 2013

FTT Off-Topic: For $12 a Bag, It Better Come With Girl On Girl Delivery

No, I Am Not Making This Up
As always with FTT O-T, not sports and not sorry. Even with a thimble full of pride.

Today in Slate, there's a story about Sexcereal -- no, seriously -- a unholy mess o granola that comes in his and hers mixes, and more or less promises to be packed with aphrodisiacs and healthy stuff to make you more in the mood for motion. Or something. It comes from Canada, it might be the dumbest thing ever marketed, and if it doesn't make money, I'll be amazed. But what the hey, if you can't get things going your way with boner pills, maybe a little Spanish Fly at the breakfast table will do the trick. And if that doesn't work, there's always roofies in the OKJ, amirite, guys? (No, no, no, I am not right. I am, in fact, kidding. People who use roofies should have the same thing happen to them, if you catch my Tenderloin drift, and I think you do.

Now, far be it from me to throw stones at silly products. I am, after all, in advertising, and I've put food on the table pushing stuff with less of a value proposition than that.

But a small point to the manufacturers. Perhaps you could put your special ingredients in a food product that people eat at an hour of the day that, well, they actually might want to have sex?

Sing me out, novelty band from the '80s who will cash checks from  morning zoo radio stations for the rest of their lives!

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