Friday, March 8, 2013

Top 10 reasons this will be Mariano Rivera's last year



10) Tired of being accused of disrespecting Jackie Robinson

9) Has an increasing amount of confidence that he's going to keep his all-time saves lead over Trevor Hoffman

8) A baseball locker room, and the Bronx, is no place for middle-aged men

7) Wants to get out of the game before nerds completely destroy the notion that 600 saves is valuable

6) Eager to start his next stage as a pitching coach, where he will teach pitchers to throw just one pitch all the damn time

5) Would have been last year if not for the treachery of shagging fly balls in Kansas City

4) Wants to get out while the team still seems to have a chance to contend

3) Reasonably sure that he's done enough to go to Cooperstown, which is to say he's been great for a long time while wearing a Yankee uniform

2) As a devout Christian, needs to get out of the game before he gets to Save 666

1) Really, really sick of Metallica

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