Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Top 10 reasons why MLB tems are trying to abolish pensions

I'm assuming Bud's behind this
According to the World Wide Lemur, a majority of baseball owners are hoping to kill the MLB pension program in the near future. What's driving this austerity measure in a time of record revenue?

10) It's not as if old people watch baseball or pay attention to the news

9) Every other American business and political party has been looking to kill pensions and threaten the elderly, so they are feeling left out

8) Old players and personnel don't even have massive concussion problems, so they are clearly capable of pulling that Wal-Mart greeter gig

7) Reneging on terms is OK if you are rich

6) Just not making enough money, despite $8 billion in annual revenue and spiking television contracts, in that it's absolutely impossible for these turdbuckets to ever make enough money

5) It's been a solid month since the Hall of Fame washout, so they needed some fresh bruising in that black eye

4) With fantasy leagues now drafting, there's a dangerous amount of enthusiasm for the game that needs to be drained

3) Teams want more "flexibility" to design a program that is "effective" for them, which you can correctly assume to eventually be "none"

2) Are clinically incapable of not picking a fight with the players' union every few months

1) Shockingly, after 140 years of gouging every single group that they have ever encountered, want to gouge some more

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