Friday, April 12, 2013

Top 10 reasons why the Sixers want Doug Collins to quit

We'll always have D-Rose getting hurt
10) Still kind of mad at him for being injury prone as a high draft pick in the '70s

9) It's the only way to stop the constant Mo Harkness puling

8) Smells like onions, feet and sadness

7) By moving him, they keep alive the delusion that Evan Turner isn't useless

6) Spencer Hawes has totally promised to try much more often for a new coach

5) If he quits, they have more money for T-shirt cannons, fast food giveaways, and all of the other things that keep people from noticing a terrible franchise

4) He reminds them of Andrew Bynum, and anyone that does that has to die

3) Have somehow fallen out of love with the weave low-turnover offense that's designed to get open 20-footers for big men who never draw fouls or get rebounds

2) He's been here for three years now, which is to say, he's at the stage where the locker room has almost completely tuned him out

1) Don't have the guts to fire him, but do have the guts to not want to pay him

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