Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Top 10 takeaways from Jay-Z selling his share of the Nets

Nets Be Gone
10) Team is no longer as much fun to own, since they are going to the playoffs and people to go games

9) Wants to be the first guy ever to go from owner to agent

8) The rapper had about $300K in value from his shares, or less than he probably walks around town with

7) I am required by blogging law to make some kind of 99 problems joke here

6) There's only so long that you can hang out around Brooklyn hipster types before you need to GTFO

5) Those power lunches with Mikhail Prokhorov are more fun in theory than reality

4) He needs the money to buy Fox News so that no one complains about him going to Cuba any more

3) We're certain that, as an agent, Jay-Z will have no interest in steering clients to his old stomping grounds, and that the media won't snark hard about such things

2) Honestly, for the amount of money his shares were worth, the man got a ridiculous amount of press

1) The man had to be tired of being part of a fraternity with Donald Sterling, James Dolan, and the Maloof Goofs

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