Thursday, May 2, 2013

The Andrew Bynum Sixers Era In A Single Video Clip

 So here is not quite ex-Sixers center Andrew Bynum, in that he's never actually played in a single game for the team despite making huge bank in a season, and might do so again... on surgically rebuilt knees, dancing in some restaurant in Spain.

Now, the knee-jerk (ha ha! I kill me) reaction is to wonder if it is, in fact, possible to have Bynum dropped in a sewage tank head first, or at least hired by WWE to become one of the most effective goofball heels in the history of fake fighting. (I'm seeing some guy in a Sixers jersey hitting him in the knees with a sledgehammer while Philly Fan buys the pay per view three of four times, just to make sure everyone in his family sees it on every screen.)

But the greater point to make here is how we should all be so very relieved that Bynum is

(a) healthy enough to dance -- that must mean he's ready to play after a miraculous recovery, and will do at a discount because he feels so bad for what he did to the town last year,

(b) able to give Jason Collins inspiration to work harder to drive regressives into greater feats of hate, and

(c) certain to inspire us all into joy and wonder about the potential and works of man, even more than his haircuts.

So join me, won't you, in giving Andrew just what he deserves during his arduous bowling, hair cutting and flamenco dance rehab. He's giving it his all, folks. And deserves nothing less than that in kind.

Now, who's got a sewage tank?

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