Friday, May 10, 2013

Top 10 reasons why Daniel Snyder will never change the Redskins' name

C'mon, Sue Us Already
10) Knows that if his team stops being the most infamous slur in pro sports, they'll just become known as a tremen- dously badly run football team

9) Wants to corner the market for gear purchases from unrepentant racists

8) Doesn't actually know any Native Americans, so the constant injury that he's doing to them can't actually exist

7) Scientology doesn't generally have much to say about the Indians, since most of them don't have a ton of money

6) Thinks that losing a federal lawsuit is just more free publicity

5) Is actually a spectacular performance artist or mole from some other team in the NFC East, whose sole goal in life is to see how low he can drive this franchise

4) Dreams that if he can just stick to his guns long enough, he'll be able to one day play the New York Kikes, Dallas Spearchuckers and Philadelphia Filthy Stinking Belgians

3) Has the deep desire to show that stereotypes abut short men without functioning male genitalia actually have some merit

2) Wanted to inspire me to write this clickbait list so that he'd have one more target for a pointless lawsuit (c'mon, Danny boy, I'm asking for it, lawyer up already, you festering sack...)

1) He is, simply, one of the worst people in the world and does not care at all who knows it

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