Thursday, June 27, 2013

Top 10 takeaways from Aaron Hernandez's Arrest

Assume The Position
10) While it seems tacky to talk about the football implications of a murder, it's also the only reason why anyone in the country who isn't related to the victim or suspect gives a damn

9) It's really just a shame that Hernandez and Tim Tebow never got to be teammates, since Tebow would have clearly saved lives

8) There's no way that the Patriots can get past the Mark Sanchez Jets, Kevin Kolb Bills and Ryan Tannehill Dolphins without receivers that people have heard of

7) Now that the Patriots have released him and he's no longer in the NFL, the media are going to give this case the same level of attention that they do for any other homicide

6) If we've learned anything from this, it's that obstruction of justice requires a little more diligence than just quickly breaking stuff

5) In case you are wondering if there's any question of racism here. ask yourself why Hernandez took a perp walk without sleeves, and why bail for a guy who made millions under constant media scrutiny isn't an option

4) If only Massachusetts had a death penalty, none of this would have happened

3) Even if Hernandez isn't found guilty of murder, he may have to live with the unending shame of gun violations

2) This is the first time that something awful and sordid happened in a rented car

1) The sub-Sahara is going to have a fairly large number of Hernandez jerseys in 3, 2, 1...

1 comment:

Snd_dsgnr said...

Happened to switch on the tv and see a bunch of mouth breathers outside the courthouse chanting "Innocent" and cheering as they took him back to jail. He'll get his day in court, but smashing your home security and cell phone after a guy dies doesn't exactly scream "uninvolved" to me.

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