Thursday, June 13, 2013

Top 10 takeaways from Jason Peters' drag race arrest

Guess where I found this image?
10) On the bright side, resisting an officer by flight implies that he's really recovered from those knee issues

9) He would have totally gotten away with it, but the special horn that he had on his car that plays "Dixie" failed to fire, which meant the gorge jump failed

8) Louisiana police have now arrested Peters twice, which still puts him two behind the average for black men in Louisiana

7) If you are old enough to remember Jerome Brown, this incident really isn't as funny for you

6) Peters drives a white Camaro, which is kind of touching, really, in that at least he's supporting a U.S. auto manufacturer

5) To be fair, drag racing in Monroe, LA counts as one of the smarter and more culturally advanced things you can do in town

4) The arrest happened early in the morning on a Wednesday and Peters wasn't charged with a DUI, so that's good news, I guess

3) Fleeing the cops is totally smart when you are 6'-4" and 340 pounds, because how could they profile that, really

2) If Peters was dressed like an extra from "Road Warrior" or "Death Race", this could have been the best story ever

1) In all seriousness, expensive and aging starters for a 4-12 team with a new coach and GM really don't need to provide additional reasons for release

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