Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Top 10 takeaways from MLB's Biogenesis Scandal

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10) Shockingly, it seems that people have made bad choices in Florida

9) It's a golden age to buy discount Yankee merch, especially if your last name is Rodriguez

8) There's absolutely nothing fishy about MLB using punitive lawsuits to prove what their testing could not

7) The fact that the accused players are almost universally Latino shows that white guys respect the game by having far more discrete cheating operations

6) Just to prove that the drugs aren't a panacea, consider, if you will, the career of Jesus Montero

5) The Yankees would, we're pretty certain, miss Francisco Cervelli at this point a lot more than they would miss A-Rod

4) With the possible exception of Robinson Cano, the list of implicated players is a Who's Who of Who's Under Performing

3) Ratting out like this will really put a dent into the reputation of guys who run steroid clinics

2) When this investigation is over, we'll all be able to rest easy that all of the game's cheaters will have been caught, and everyone who is tempted to take these drugs will be stopped by the knowledge that justice will be swift and decisive

1) The combined 2013 salary of the players implicated in the Biogensis scandal is $73,288,650

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