Monday, July 1, 2013

Some Brief And Obvious Questions For The Supporter's Of Tulsa's 2024 Summer Olympics Bid

Let's Put An Olympics Here
No, seriously, this was in the NY Times today.

I'm going to slow this down a lot, and try to use small words, because heavily armed people with delusions don't need to let that anger build by having to go to the dictionary.

First... have you ever heard of anyone going to Tulsa by choice? In summer? Assuming they aren't interested in Death By Tornado?

Second... have you ever looked at the people who choose where the Olympics are located? Probably not so much, since they have never, and will never, venture into any part of Oklahoma?

Third... you do realize that much of the rest of the world regards Red State America as filled with people who embody everything they hate about America, right? Especially since many of You People seems to spend all of your time in elected office trying to make super duper extra secret sure that we don't do anything like Those People? And that if you somehow did get the Olympics, the state would be filled with thousands and thousands of Those People, many of whom would not share your skin color, religion, feelings about gays, etc., etc.?

Look, I get that ever since you got one of your own into the owner's chair for the Sonics and managed to end basketball in the far more palatable travel city of Seattle, you've managed to delude yourselves into thinking that Good Things  Are Happening, and that your home crowd has something to do with that. Also, hey, you have some College Fun happening, and lots of space and money to build and bribe with. Go nuts. Be the New Texas. Whatever.

But what you aren't getting is that if you put the Thunder roster in front of any city in North America, you'd have a great home court advantage, because Kevin Durant is the second-best player on the planet, and Russell Westbrook is in the top 20 at worst. And that your relentlessly retrograde politics are a real problem, and that none of this is going to be washed away with barbecue sauce.

In short: know who you are. Oklahoma. Not a tourist mecca, not a place that will now, or ever, host an Olympics, and spending money to try just proves that you are First Class Rubes. Why don't you go take that money and pay Native reparations with it instead? Or fund some freaking schools? Or just set it on fire for the big viral video win?

(Oh, and if you want some killer online advertising ads for this mission? Get in touch, and I'll deliver stuff that you will love. Not Cheap!)


snd_dsgnr said...

I've been to Tulsa. It's not "bad" exactly, but entirely nondescript. It just doesn't have anything that I can recall to distinguish it from any one of another dozen or so mid-size American cities.

DMtShooter said...

I blame Roger Goodell. Once you give a Super Bowl to Indianapolis and Jacksonville, it's all over.

Ads In This Size Rule