Friday, September 6, 2013

Top 20 NFL Kickoff Ravens - Broncos Takeaways

Vengeance Is His (Regular Season Only)
20) Maybe the NFL should have not started the night off with Europe's "The Final Count- down", given how well that usually worked for Gob Bluth

19) It was nice to see weather related delays for a half hour, since it gave us the droll comedy of Al Michaels Getting Huffy About Ratings

18) Feel free to laugh long and hard at the guy in your league who drafted Monte Ball, and to put a claim in for him after he gets waived in disgust

17) You've never seen a more gritty player fumbling a punt at his own three yard line than Wes Welker

16) Julius Thomas took the early lead on Fantasy MVP and Soon To Be Regretted All-In FAAB Bet

15) In unrelated news, ex-Raiders S Michael Huff is not making anyone in Baltimore forget Ed Reed

14) Dallas Clark showed Baltimore just why he was available, while Ed Dickson showed why he's no Dennis Pitta

13) If you can tell me why anyone bothers televising kickoffs at altitude, rather than just staying in commercial, since they are automatic touchbacks, I'd appreciate it

12) If not for the gift touchdown following the Welker muff, Ray Rice's fantasy owners would look nearly as dead as Brandon Stokely

11) It was nice to hear Bob Costas bury my Eagles for the year before they even play a down, on a night where they weren't even playing

10) Instead of chastising the refs for blowing the call, NBC chose to chastise Ravens coach John Harbaugh for not challenging it, because criticizing the NFL just isn't done

9) It was nice of the Ravens to take 15 yard penalties while losing, just to remind America that you can win a Super Bowl and still be complete douche bags

8) Watching the Ravens try to run no-huddle with only 3 healthy WRs might make a person rethink this whole Harbaughs Are Genuises idea

7) It was nice of Baltimore to try not to keep anyone in America up late, what with the late start and everything

6) We've now all seen a much dumber play than the DeSean Jackson Premature Celebration, since that play didn't actually cost his team points, and Danny Trevathan's Premature Celebration play did

5) This was the most points the Ravens have ever given up, which means that the greatness of Ray Lewis has to be ratcheted up another fifteen notches to Finest Human To Ever Walk The Earth

4) NBC's Cris Collingsworth cited the loss of Anquan Boldin as a big deal, as if Boldin is going to stop Peyton Manning from throwing seven freaking touchdowns

3) The only man who was able to stop the Broncos tonight was John Fox, which shows that 2013 isn't going to be so different than 2012, really

2) On the last play of consequence tonight, the Raven defense lined up offside and allowed a 78-yard WR screen pass, so, um, wow

1) By Grabthar's Hammer, Peyton Manning Has Been Avenged

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