Sunday, October 20, 2013

Eagles - Cowboys Takeaways

The Foles Bandwagon Got Lonely
> On two of the first three passes of the game, the Cowboys get enough of a pass rush to get a sack and grounding penalty... which kind of set the tone

> On third and 1, the Cowboys go to a heavy package after a long delay, which was stuffed and made me grateful, yet again, for the Chip Kelly offense where you run it quickly in those situations

> Spending timeouts on special teams is better than having a special teams disaster, but still not good

> Troy Aikman congratulating the Eagles for almost matching last year's win total is the very definition of trolling, and yet another reason why he's hated independent of his Cowboy past

> Fox will never tire of guys with long hair having it pulled, because that's just their kink

> LeSean McCoy got a yard on a highlight reel run

> QB Nick Foles got a first down running, which is always a Watch The Bear Dance moment, and kind of disquieting

> RB Bryce Brown was tackled by the 40 yard line, then let a fly route fall through his hands, as Fox chose to show highlights of WRs who were not in the play

> This is the first time in 2013 when the Eagles have gotten first downs without it leading to long drives

> It's nice when Fox hypes the division rivalry, then immediately craps on it by saying it's the same as any other NFC East game

> The Cowboys were surprised by crowd noise at the Linc for the defense, which is understandable

> CB Cary Williams had a nice blitz and hurt himself, because we can't have nice things

> LB DeMeco Ryans with a big sack on Romo, who usually makes the first man miss, but had a trippy kind of durr moment

> Giving up 14 yards on a third and 19, barely missing field goal range and allowing Dallas to wimp out and punt, is all kinds of win for this defense

> Kelly goes back to Brown, which kills the idea of a doghouse, but it's not as if RB Chris Polk is a healthy option today

> Some nice late hitting so far in this one, which really doesn't happen any more

> Foles doesn't get the first on a scramble play that, well, Michael Vick might have converted, and also might have fumbled or gotten hurt on

> Anyone who has bet the over in this game should have put their head in the oven right away

> This is as bad as this offense has looked so far in 2013... and maybe even 2012

> Dallas with another false start penalty, and a just good enough stop on third and long, makes for another non-scoring Dallas drive, and I'm starting to wonder who got into the uniforms of both of these teams

> Dallas got flagged for a hold while covering a kick, which really puts the special into special teams

> McCoy on a screen is a Dallas highlight reel, and man alive, does this offense look weak so far

> Third and 18 is a give up play and boos for Foles

> Romo missed TE Jason Witten on a deep ball where he had steps

> S Nate Allen on an effective blitz, which is a sentence that no one has written before in English

> On 3rd and 10, DE Vinny Curry with the sack on an effective stunt, and I don't know what team I'm watching right now

> Fox confirmed that, yes, they still make cheese steaks in Philadelphia, as is required by federal law

> WR Jeff Mahel drops a third down catch as Foles doesn't try WR DeSean Jackson deep, and that's another non-scoring drive

> WR Terence Williams owned CB Cary Williams for a big first down and field position

> Three and out with the Cowboys selling out on McCoy and no one else making plays didn't happen 15 times today, but you will be forgiven for thinking otherwise

> Romo to Beasley and Bryant and Williams to get them deep, and that's looking easy

> Barwin with a big clean pressure and hit on Romo, which is so rare in this day and age that it provoked a timeout

> Aikman seems surprised that Eagle Fan still doesn't like him, because Troy Aikman's idiocy is limitless

> CB Bradley Fletcher with the knock down to keep things to a field goal attempt, and that's helpful

> K Dan Bailey converts, and that's the first points in 27 minutes of game action that has made every fantasy owner in America fume or chuckle

> Foles misses a wide-open TE Brent Celek, and that wasn't close, good, or in any way helpful

> They try it again and get the flag, which at least prevents a three and out and punt to put the defense back on the field

> Foles with another really bad miss, boos from the crowd, and yeesh

> Foles for five on a keeper, along with limping, and that's the two minute warning

> Foles is behind WR Jason Avant for another mistake and drive killer, and his stock is dropping by the minute

> Romo with a miss and, again, this isn't the game we were expecting

> Actual Jackson sighting for a first, but it stops with a sack on Foles, and he's really not looking spry now

> Screen to McCoy actually works and is helpful

> Cooper with a catch and doesn't get out of bounds, but at least with the hurry up offense, the time damage isn't extreme

> Deep ball to DJ on third and 1 is a really bad play call, since it doesn't work and sets up...

> K Alex Henery missing from 60, which is another really bad decision with 9 seconds left and Dallas with a timeout

> Ridiculous call on CB Brandon Boykin gives Dallas five more yards and the opportunity at the Hail Mary

> S Earl Wolffe's first career pick is a mistake by Bryant in the end zone, and meaningful only to fantasy honks, who have already killed themselves

> 110 yards in the half for the Eagles is a season low; thanks heavens LB DeMarcus Ware isn't playing

> That is Kelly's first scoreless half ever, which is kind of amazing

> Big special teams kickoff return, then Romo does his Favre impersonation for a first

> Aikman thinks the Eagle defense needs help from the offense on the first drive of a half, because, um, I have no idea why he thinks that

> Romo to Bryant for the first, as the Cowboys finally open up that wildly tricky Slant pattern that always works against this secondary

> Bryant on the slant is almost a touchdown

> Aikman chides Fletcher for actual defense on Bryant in the five yard chuck zone, because he doesn't actually know the rule book

> Boykin with a nice stop on Beasley on second and goal, but the refs bail out Dallas on an uncatchable ball to Bryant

> RB Philip Tanner with the coup de grace touchdown, and it's so nice to have games decided by refs

> Eagle Fans chant profanities on the call, just like every other fan base, but with more infamy

> Foles ran around for 10 seconds on a poor groin with an obvious holding penalty, which was finally ended with a drop

> Three and out to start the second half, and at this point, more than a few people are wondering if Vick could play, what Matt Barkley might look like, or if direct snaps to McCoy with an extra blocker might be possible

> Bryant gets away with an uncalled push off, but Romo misses him

> Romo to WR Miles Austin on improv for a third down conversion, and given how the Eagle offense is playing, we're not far away from Last Meaningful Play... but the injury gives us time to see that's a trap and a challenge moment

> Review gets the play right in a lightning fast hour, forcing a punt and making this still, theoretically, a game

> Foles misses Mahel as Eagle Fan is in full booing voice, with all kinds of cause

> On third and four, Foles into double coverage on Jackson to complete the three and out, and this is just sad

> Dallas now throwing on early downs, since the pass rush isn't getting there and they aren't afraid of grinding the clock

> Maybe there is still time for Washington to win this division

> Bryant gets the slant for the first, but at least Wolffe hit the hell out of him, and will probably get fined for it

> Romo takes a time out before the delay flag, barely missing the Eagles' best chance at scoring today on a snap to no one

> Bryant falls down to draw a flag, but the refs wipe it off with a get-even call; as the ball was tipped, that's an officiating mistake and a free play for Dallas

> Ryans with a pick on a bad Romo decision and worse throw, and that was, officially, the only really exciting play today for Eagle Fan

> Foles has Jackson in the end zone open, but the ball is late and the secondary can recover, and any resemblance to the guy who played last week in Tampa is coincidence

> McCoy with a hole, burst and first down, but Jackson is hurt because we can't have nice things

> Foles has Avant open in the end zone, but the ball is low, and the WR doesn't catch it, with a tip up to cause the room service INT, and I have no words for how awful that was on both ends

> On replay, that ball is on the ground and the play should be overturned, if only because there is no way a ball comes off the ground that hard and fast off flesh rather than ground

> The refs reverse it, and we've still got a theoretical game

> Two runs from McCoy after second and 10 delivers fourth and a few feet, and Kelly goes for it

> Shotgun run to McCoy converts barely, as Dallas starts to oversell the run, correctly

> Foles with all day, lots of hesitation, and an incomplete; replays show he has men open... on both second and third down

> Plenty of good seats available on the Foles Bandwagon, especially after he takes a pointless sack and looks concussed

> Henery barely makes from 31, and it's 10-3 to start the fourth quarter

> Foles to the locker room, and we're minutes away from the Barkley Era

> Odd poochie kick from Henery, which makes me wonder if Kelly had onside ideas

> Romo to Bryant for 17 on a slant, and this is looking like salt away time

> Not really a great time for the defense to get kitteny soft on crosses again, given how much effort it took to score three points today

> Bryant for a first down and into field goal range as Fox's folks start to notice the actual game again

> Romo to Witten for another first, and once more with feeling... Dallas only loses this game if they make mistakes

> Third and two from the 14 is a big damned deal, and it's Romo to Beasley as LB Brandon Graham is a second late to the QB

> Romo to Williams for the slant score on Fletcher, and that's your ball game, unless Barkley is able to create an all-new QB kerfluffle

> Not stated but true: Foles more or less caused his own concussion by holding on to the ball long enough to take the pointless sack

> Barkley to Avant for a short first completion gets all kinds of sarcastic cheers

> The second play, a terrible pick that should end the game, is less helpful... but an offsides saves him for the moment

> Barkley to Cooper moves the sticks and provokes false hope

> Tempo offense and a rookie QB is getting some false start saliva jumps from the Dallas defense

> Jackson for the first down and an uncalled late hit

> Celek drops what would have been a first down, and that's not helpful

> The coup de grace pick by LB Sean Lee should stop any further QB controversy foolishness

> It's still theoretically a game on third and 3 from the 32, which makes Romo's durr moment on a handoff to cause a punt kind of fun

> Monte Kiffin has had his vengeance on Chip Kelly, or something

> PR Damaris Johnson lets a ball bounce to be downed at the 2, and he really hasn't shown any evidence to date that he's an NFL player

> Barkley to Celek for a first isn't a bad play for his highlight reel

> Jackson drops a first down throw, and this is a team collapse for the offense

> Barkley avoids a sack somehow, then throws a short bus arm punt to no one for a pick, and if you'd like to note that when you have 3 QBs, you have none, I will not disagree

> If you are looking for encouragement, the defense didn't quit today, despite ample reason and opportunity

> Barkley to Cooper for some garbage stats, but again, nice ball

> It's nice when the game that's going on is of so little interest to the announcers that they talk about other divisions

> Barkley to TE Zach Ertz for a nice gain and continued theoretical play of importance

> Jackson can't bring down a cross, and his stock has also dropped today

> Barkley to Avant for a clock killing first down

> Barkley to Cooper for a tip drill catch and first down

> Barkley to Avant in the end zone is just an embarrassingly easy INT, and that, finally, is that

> Aikman thinks that 3 INTs, and could have been 4, in less than a quarter is a good outing for Barkley, because, um, well, I have no idea why he thinks that

> Dallas is 3-0 in the division, 1-3 against everyone else, and yes, this is so the worst division in the NFL

> If you are counting, it's now nine home losses in a row, which is a new franchise record for a franchise that has a lot of experience in losing

> There are children who can walk and talk who have not been alive during an Eagles home victory

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