Sunday, December 1, 2013

Eagles - Cardinals Takeaways

Does Not Matter
> The Eagles are wearing those black jerseys that so many people in my area hate, but, um, folks, it's not like they are the Sweden throwback / up travesties

> Good tackling, crowd noise, and then LB Trent Cole with the strip, and DT Benny Logan with the recovery on a huge early play

> HC Chip Kelly knows that TEs have gashed the Cards, so he tries TE Brent Celek for three straight plays, and the third one works like a beer truck through pylons

> QB Nick Foles to TE Zach Ertz off trickery for the quick score, and it's 7-0 Green in 2.5 minutes

> WR Michael Floyd with the Cards' initial first down, and he looks distressingly crisp

> RB Rashard Mendenhall has a certain Cedric Benson Meh quality to his work

> WR Jerrod Brown with the first down, and S Nate Allen with the cheap 15-yard It's No Longer Football flag

> Allen with the immediate vengeance on an arm punt by QB Carson Palmer, and the return gives Green solid field position again

> That's two turnovers by Palmer in 5:46 of game action, and you will excuse Cardinal Fan for thinking he's been here before

> LB Carlos Dansby with a sack on Foles where the QB tries to be too nifty

> Three and out for the offense is punctuated by Foles with an ungainly white man slide, and we're well on our way to getting killed in time of possession

> Red throttles down the turnover machine with runs and an easy TE cross

> TE Rob Housler with a turnover-level drop to end the drive, and so far today, my laundry's getting lucky

> Fox doing everything they can to jinx Foles into a pick

> Ertz with his best catch of the year for a first

> Fox doing everything they can to jinx the offensive line into an injury

> Three runs by RB LeSean McCoy don't move the sticks and that was a wee bit curious on third and long

> PR Patrick Peterson breaks one tackle, but no more, and this game has been ad-tastic so far

> Cole gets to Palmer again, but not before an easy conversion

> WR Larry Fitzgerald gets on the board with a screen, then Mendenhall nearly has his longest run of the year, which is, um, 14 yards

> LB DeMeco Ryans with the sack despite holding, and that was porny

> Third and 15 is a deep ball to WR Andre Roberts that CB Bradley Fletcher covers perfectly

> P Dave Zastudil gets a perfect bounce and Green will have to go 99 yards

> Fox feels that the Eagles have to start caring about time of possession, because the defense is clearly getting so much worse over the course of the year

> McCoy gets the first with nice work, and then it's WR DeSean Jackson for a well-timed bubble screen and first

> RB Bryce Brown with a terrible 8-yard loss with DT Calais Campbell inspiring bad decision-making

> Foles to Ertz for a screen that doesn't moves the sticks, and the drive stalls

> Arizona does it's best to give the ball back on a punt, but the second fumble is overturned by replay

> S Patrick Chung gets lucky on coverage where he never looks for the ball

> Third and 5 from midfield is a big deal, and Roberts gets a generous spot to convert

> Kelly challenges immediately, and this should work even though it never does

> The challenge actually works, and Cardinals coach Bruce Arians goes for it, despite the universal condemnation from Fox

> Mendenhall converts, and yet again, Fox Guys Know Nothing

> Another big run from Mendenhall, and Red's in figgie range

> LB Brandon Graham with his third sack of the year, and that's extra porny

> 3rd and 20 to Fitzgerald, who breaks yet another tackle against my laundry for a clear air turbulence score, his 10th in 5 1/2 games

> Fitz is a beast, of course, but that's terrible tackling by the safeties, and a four-point play for failing to wrap up

> Imagine how good a career Fitz would be having if the Cardinals were still in the NFC East, and he got more cracks at my laundry

> Foles to McCoy on a just in time screen for 20, because the OL is getting slammed

> McCoy for another 8, and almost was a lot more

> Foles with all day off play action, then takes the medium route to WR Jason Avant for 20 more

> WR Riley Cooper with the catch of his life, a one-hander that's two feet too high, and then goes for 24 down the line

> WR Brad Smith wildcats, fumbles as everyone in the stadium not wearing Red hates with all their hearts

> Foles is sacked on third and goal by DE John Abraham, having a late-career rush

> K Alex Henery connects, and it's 10-7 Green with 4 minutes left in the half

> As explosive as the Eagle offense can be, they really are prone to One Bad Play Ending Things

> DT Fletcher Cox gets to Palmer with a quickness, and the QB is lucky to avoid a grounding call

> Cole nearly gets there on a 3-man rush, and Red barely avoids a tipped ball pick

> Third and 10 with 2:38 left is a big deal, and Floyd drops a high ball that would have moved the sticks

> Foles to Jackson on a pretty 25-yarder, and the WR was in no way open on that

> Avant does not get a flag for DPI, because he's not a star

> Foles to McCoy while falling on Ye Gads That Was Dangerous, but five yards is five yards

< Third and 5 from the Red 48 with 1:52 is a big damned deal, so McCoy makes magic in the flat for the conversion

> Jackson plays DB on Peterson in the end zone to keep Foles' INT record clean

> DJ hobbled as the replay system glitches, and that might have helped Green, since the WR was able to get back on the field

> Foles with all day but Avant on Peterson is a real bad idea and knock down

> Foles to Cooper, but not enough to move the sticks

> Fourth and 2 from the 34 is all kinds of intriguing, and Red does not call time, which was also helpful

> With the clock wound down, Kelly goes for it, and Foles gives to McCoy from the shotgun for the first -- beautiful

> Foles to Cooper in the end zone, and it's a gift DPI on a fairly inaccurate throw -- huge play

> Foles to Celek for the easy score, and with Green getting the ball to start the second, that was immense

> For a good defense, Red's inability to stop TEs is downright amazing

> Fox decides that Chip Kelly got away with poor clock management on a drive that worked absolutely perfectly, because questioning Chip Kelly Is Funsies

> Henery got in a practice deep onside kick

> Green 17, Red 7 at the half despite that crippling 4-minute deficit in time of possession

> During the halftime, Fox spends their time giving Foles so many back-handed compliments, it's as if half of the panel spent their NFL lives working for the Eagles' most hated rivals

> Foles with consecutive read option plays to move the sticks, and his slide work is still somewhere between comedy and tragedy

> Third and 11 is confusion and a timeout, but Fox would rather tell you about Foles' childhood; no, seriously

> Foles to Cooper to move the sticks for 15, with nice protection given to the QB

> Brown for 5 solid middle yards, and more of that, please

> S Tyron Mathieu destroys Jackson for a 3-yard loss on a bubble screen, and that hurt every part of me

> Third and 8 from the gun is another great job by the line, and Foles hits Ertz for 16 as the rookie is having a game

> McCoy on a nifty middle run as OL Lane Johnson goes out wide for funsies

> Foles misses Cooper on an airmailed backwards pass for a loss of two, and, um, yuck

> Foles to Ertz for seven, and wow, the Red defense against TEs makes me wonder if Andy Reid is secretly their coach

> Green 24, Red 7, and the Foles Bandwagon is downright third-worldish right about now

> Fox is contractually obligated to show the manufacture of cheese steaks, because you've never seen that before

> Red stays patient with the run game, but their first flag of the day is a hold that helps

> RB Stepfan Taylor gets 30 as Fletcher whiffs

> Fitz fails in triple coverage, shockingly

> Housler converts, barely, and Red is keeping this a game

> Fitz moves the sticks on a bubble screen where Fletcher misses again, which is becoming a concern

> DT Ced Thornton with a cheap flag, but at least it wasn't DPI in the end zone

> Third and 9 from the 23 is a big damned deal, and Floyd is wide open for another good grief secondary breakdown

> It's 24-14 with 20 minutes left, and way too much of a game

> Darryl Johnston thinks that drives that score points but do not burn clock are bad, because the final score always has time of possession listed first

> Three and out ends with a sack, and this game is going to the wire

> Monster 69 yard punt by P Donnie Jones, with Kelly declining a 12 men flag, smartly

> Graham with a doorbusting sack on Palmer, fourth of the day, and that was super-porny

> Backbreaking 3rd and 12 conversion to Floyd... but CB Cary Williams Has His Vengeance on a terrible INT by Palmer

> Foles misses Celek and McCoy, then Kelly gives up with McCoy on a draw, for terrible back to back 3 and outs

> At the end of three, it's 24-14 Green, and still wildly uneasy, especially given that they are +3 in turnovers

> Jones with a middling punt to the 11

> Third and 3 with the opportunity for another close, and it's Sack Number Five, this one by Cole

> Jackson with an apparent punt return touchdown, but it's a brutal penalty on S Kurt Coleman that costs them a killshot seven points and 64 yards of field position

> Foles tries Ertz, who saves him from a pick by Mathieu

> McCoy for 37 and a first, but a weak clipping call on Avant takes yards away again

> Foles on a nifty second and one pump fakes guys in the air, then takes the check down to Celek for the first

> Cooper doesn't get a DPI call because he is also Not A Star

> Foles for no gain, but has the awareness to not throw the bubble screen TAInt

> 3rd and 10 is Red's fifth sack of the day, and while I get that burning clock is good, the reality is that this offense just does not look good while burning time

> Palmer nearly killed on second and five by Curry as the porn continues

> Three and out as Palmer can't connect with Taylor, well-covered, and the pressure has been the best part about this game

> with 10 minutes left and up 10, I'd love to see the Detention Offense that ended the Packers and Bucs

> McCoy for two runs and a first, and Green is slowing down, not that Fox is noticing yet

> Brown's two carries create a third and long due to a loss, and then it's Foles missing Jackson and getting lucky, again, to avoid a pick

> If you would have told me that in Week 13, one of my bigger worries about my laundry would be how the offense would operate with a lead, I'd have taken that

> Floyd for a first as the secondary doesn't chase down a long crossing run

> Fitz for a first on a near pick, Red moving with tempo

> Roberts with a catch that the refs miss, so it's more Replay Delay, and we're 3 for 3 on Ref Error

> Floyd on a jump ball in double coverage for 34 yards, and yeesh, this is going quickly

> Housler drops a ball at the goal line, but since Rock Carmichael is involved, that's DPI

> Mendenhall loses yardage and clock as Ryans ends him

> Palmer to TE Jim Dray for the kitten-soft pick play TD, and it's 24-21 with 4:45 left

> Brandon Boykin with the nice return helps

> Offsides on first down helps loads, but McCoy getting killed doesn't

> As Fox continues to berate them for clock, it's much more the OL not getting it done

> Foles with a godawful pick... and the bailout defensive holding call of the year redefines luck in our time

> Foles keeps for six yards and clock

> 3rd and 2 is huge, and it's Foles keeping and not getting the first, as Red finally stays home for it

> Red timeout with 2:18 left, all the time in the world to win this with 2 timeouts left

> Roberts gets 4 and leaves yards on the table

> Floyd lobbies for DPI on Fletcher, but gets nothing, and it's 3rd and 5 with 1:59 left

> Palmer misses an open Roberts, and that's a gift

> Killshot on fourth and five from the 15 is Floyd not getting a call again, and Fletcher got away with a huge no-call there

> McCoy for three, Red timeout, McCoy for three, Red timeout...

> Defensive hold as Foles wriggles around to no effect, Johnston freaks out over how Foles got away with going out of bounds along with the weak call, and that's your ball game

> If I were a Red fan watching this game, I'm pretty sure I'd be very drunk by now

> Red with unsportsmanlike for 15 and who the hell cares

> Your final is Eagles 24, Cardinals 21, and did they ever get lucky today

> Kelly is now 7-5 with four straight wins, still control their fate in the NFC East, and a dangerous amount of optimism for a team that's still extremely flawed, but a lot more fun than anyone should have hoped for

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