Sunday, December 22, 2013

Eagles - Bears Takeaways

It's funny because it demeans women
> In the pre game, palpable dry humping from Al Michaels and Cris Collings- worth that this game matters to the Eagles, because being the #3 seed is so much better than being the fourth, and I guess, since Avoiding Seattle Is Helpful

> Without Colt Anderson and Kurt Coleman, STs are an even bigger worry than usual... but since last week's cowardice towards Minny rankled, they kick away and get KR Devin Hester down before the 20

> CB Cary Williams barely gets QB Jay Cutler to the ground to set up a third down

> LB Trent Cole with a clean bull rush sack over RB Matt Forte, and that's a three and out

> P Adam Podlesh with a weak effort, and Green starts on the plus side of the 50

> RB LeSean McCoy for 19 right off the bat, as LB Lance Briggs return to the lineup was not audacious

> DE Julius Peppers got away with a head shot on QB Nick Foles

> Foles turns acres of green into 10 yards as Chicago overreacts to DeSean Jackson in the backfield

> Foles to WR Riley Cooper for a score off a scramble, and that was awkward but effective

> Five minutes into the game, it's 7-0 Green

> CB Bradley Fletcher with the strip on Hester after a good return, and wow, that's huge and unexpected

> Foles again across his body on a deep ball to TE Zach Ertz

> Backwards throw to DJ looks all kinds of nifty and gets 8

> McCoy to the 1 for a first down, then in for the score, and the Chicago run defense does not look sharp

> Eagles 14, Bears 0 as we are treated to the standard Jay Cutler non-reaction shot

> Two runs by Forte, then Cutler grounding one to TE Martellus Bennett -- not exactly aggro play-calling by a team that's down big early

> KR/WR Brad Smith in for his once a game what the hell run

> Foles to TE Brent Celek on a nice catch by the vet for another big chunk

> McCoy on a video game catch and run for 8

> RB Bryce Brown for a couple as Foles gets his tricksy on with no ball in hand, then is just short on third

> Fourth and one from the 37 is auto-go, and McCoy gets 11 on a cutback

> Bear defenders starting to develop Mysterious Ailments as Eagle Fan shows that they've seen that bullspit before

> Foles to McCoy on a great screen for 16

> Foles added to his goodwill by hitting a front row fan for the gift of a free ball

> On third and goal, super-easy throw to Celek as Ertz gets away with a pick

> After 13.5 minutes, it's Eagles 21-0, and the yards are 149 to 4

> Hester fakes tricky, but only gets to the 20

> The Bears finally got the memo that throwing on the Eagles is a better way to play offense

> Here's how good the first quarter was: the Eagles even won time of possession

> On third and 2 with crowd in full voice, Cutler can't connect with Marshall, and that's a punt

> Foles to Avant for 4, then eats it for a loss as the Bears covered all options

> Third and 10, Foles has time and Cooper for a first, with excellent blitz pick up

> McCoy for six as Kelly remembers that the Bears stink at stopping the run

> DJ on the safety valve for 6 and a first, and that's just fun

> Foles did his Fran Tarkenton impersonation, which doesn't work for a 1-yard sack

> RB Chris Polk with a great catch and run to make third down manageable

> Third and 3 is Polk, who doesn't quite get to the stick, and Kelly's probably tempted to go for it, but stays safe instead

> P Donnie Jones with the fair catch kick for 41, which is another one of his Inside the 20 count

> LB Mychal Kendricks gets Cutler down with pain on first down

> Williams knocks a ball down to Marshall that wasn't Cutler's usual high heat

> 3rd and 10 from the 14 is a Bear timeout, and this offense has been using full clock all game

> Cutler to WR Alshon Jeffery for 13 way too easy yards and a first

> Incidental contact on CB Bradley Fletcher not called for DPI, and that's a relief

> Chicago got away with a delay flag on a 3-yard screen to Forte

> 3rd and 7 from the 30 is also a big deal, and it's a simple catch by Bennett for the first

> Nice tackle by Fletcher on a no-gain catch by Earl Bennett

> Cutler to E. Bennett for 15, and this game is starting to turn

> M. Bennett for 24 easy yards of cross, as the Bears go to an all-air offense

> Cole gets to the QB for a 9-yard sack and post-whistle gimpiness

> Kendricks with a throat-clearing sack for 9 more, as Forte looks terrible in pass blocking

> 3rd and 28 is a try for Marshall in the end zone that barely misses, and the refs are letting a lot of contact go

> PR Damaris Johnson is still alive and fair catching balls

> McCoy with big chunks, and then Brown does it too

> Screen to McCoy has worked all night, and does again for 11

> Foles ball fakes the bubble, then gets WR Jason Avant for all kinds of pretty

> One screen to many for McCoy loses 8, and the offense lets the clock run to 2 minutes afterwards from full discombobulation over a play that didn't work

> DJ for 4 to get figgie range settled, then Detention Offense until Foles finally grounds one

> Weak effort by the QB there, as more block burn would have been good

> Not sure why the Bears took a timeout with 70 seconds left, as the clock wasn't running

> K Alex Henery connects from 49 (phew), and it's Eagles 24, Bears 0 with 67 seconds left in the half

> NBC goes into SantaGate for the nine millionth time, which is really kind of pointless, since only Eagle Fan is still watching this game

> Bear Tricksy on the kick return gets nothing

> Cutler to Jeffery for 21 makes the last minute before the half meaningful

> NBC actively rooting for drama as Cutler hits Jeffery for another 16

> M Bennett with a drop, then it's Cutler for 11 and a spike with 3 seconds left

> The replay shows the Bears got away with a huge break on the spot, leading to K Robbie Gould connecting from 50 to close the half

> Not for nothing, but that's 3 gift points from the refs

> DJ moves the sticks to start the third quarter

> McCoy fumbles, but it's overturned on replay, and phew... but it's not a great sign that Kelly didn't know the rule and wasted a timeout there

> Chicago took a 2nd and 19, rather than 3rd and 12, and it paid off with a dropped screen

> Foles runs for seven and sets up a great punt by Jones, and recovery by CB Brandon Boykin

> Forte nearly tackled for a safety, but the refs don't rule that way, forcing Kelly to throw the challenge flag... and it works for 2 points

> Eagles 26, Bears 3, and a great play by DT Cedric Thornton, who might have just punched a ticket to Hawaii with that

> Not exactly Forte's best night, either

> Cooper recovers the free kick, which was weak, erratic, and nearly a turnover

> McCoy through a massive hole as the Bear defense looks in give up mode

> Foles to a wide-open Cooper for 32 as this game looks to be in video game mode

> Brown through another truck sized hole for 9, then 3, and Foles has to slow down for quiet

> McCoy with a wow spin moment for another 7, and we're making some friends in Green Bay tonight

> Bears in Throw Every Down Mode now, and that's somehow not terrifying

> Kendricks with a coverage sack and recovered fumble as no receiver looked open or trying

> Foles to Celek, who loses the live ball for a fumble, and so much for Eagle Fan chanting about next week

> LB Brandon Graham with the latest free running shot on Cutler

> Marshall for 5 as Cutler takes another shot

> Third and 5 with 20 minutes left is incomplete to Forte as the defense is having its best game of the year

> Fourth and 5 is full clock and a Bear timeout, but man alive, this team is just out of sorts

> Jeffrey for 7 moves the chains and damn

> Marshall for 10, then a defensive hold, followed by Cole's third sack of the night, all of them porn

> M Bennett for 4, then Forte for 7, leading to another fourth down killshot opportunity

> Fourth and 9 from the 41 is converted on a dump down to Forte as Kendricks loses contain

> M Bennett to the 1 as Kendricks' bad drive continues

> Another sloppy flag on the Bear offense, then the back shoulder score to Marshall as the WR gets away with a shove, and the Bears get away with pre-snap movement

> Cutler to E Bennet, wide open, for the 2, and it's 33-11 Eagles after three

> We'll get to see if Kelly's learned anything about playing with a lead now

> Ball falls off tee before surprise onside kick, then it's pooched to Polk, who gets it back to the 30

> McCoy through more truck sized holes as clock killing looks easier tonight

> Detention Offense starts, and Brown eats up another 18; best he's looked this year, but that happens a lot against the Bears

> McCoy for 15, and it's hard to milk the clock when the defense won't tackle you

> Polk for 10 and the touchdown, and football is easy when you run the same play, over and over, and the defense does not stop it

> Hester is tackled by Polk, who is having some fun tonight

> The Bears are still huddling down a ton, which is nice

> Eagle Fan decided to cheer about next week, since this game got boring

> Marshall with the alligator arms at the 10-minute mark

> Cutler passed Sid Luckman's 71-year Bear record, which tells you just how dreadful their QB has been over the years, then throws a TAInt to Boykin

> That sequence pretty much summed up the Bears' night right there

> Eagles 47, Bears 11, and we'll be on SNF again next week

> Having secured the franchise record, Cutler leaves for QB Josh McCown

> The potential qualifier for the best single-season passed rating in Bears history fumbles, hands off, then gets a deflection for his three and out

> QB Mike Vick in to hand off to Brown, who takes it to the house, nearly untouched

> Seriously, it's hard to see how the Bears are still trying

> Eagles 54, Bears 11, and this game is wildly amazing, considering that the Eagles had nothing to play for, and the Bears, well, everything

> The last six minutes passed without anything of importance occurring, which is all you can ask for

> Imagine how bad the Bears would have been tonight if they didn't have anything to play for

> Have to think my laundry is going to be favored next week in Dallas

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