Sunday, December 29, 2013

May We All Find Opportunities In Life To Be As Abundant As Andrew Bynum

Hard to believe he's been a problem
So the Cleveland Cavaliers, currently depressing their fan base with a terrible won-loss record in the too weak to be believed East, have suspended their flier rehab lottery ticket, Andrew Bynum, for conduct detrimental to the team. With 7-footers at an age-old premium, the team is said to be looking to move him, possibly to the Clippers, Celtics or Heat.

Which leads me to the following small question... why, exactly, would a team that is trying to win games bring in this ass clown?

This is the kind of thing that drives non-NBA fans crazy, by the way. And while I'm all in favor of getting distressed assets for low value, please keep in mind that he's 8 points and 5 boards in 20 minutes a game now. And sure, there's a place for that in the league, and all of these teams are sure they've got the kind of coach and organization that can turn his sorry head around. And hey, 2-time NBA champion, right? Minimal commitment. Heck, Cleveland just suspended him, rather than just put up with it and try to move him without the bad press. They'll take anything!

Which is, well, somewhat telling, isn't it?

I get that Cleveland isn't the sharpest knives in the drawer. The LeBron James Experience proves that, as does the growing realization that they can't draft, even with high picks (Dion Waiters, Anthony Bennett). The plain and simple fact of the matter is that Andrew Bynum likes getting paid. He doesn't really like basketball. If you like basketball, you don't end a season by getting your thug on with JJ Barea to end a sweep, ensuring that you'll miss 10% of next season. If you like basketball, you rehab like crazy when you get hurt, because you really want to play again, instead of spending the year cashing your check at the Funny Haircut Store and Bowl-A-Rama. And if you like basketball, when you go to your next team, after getting left out at the curb like trash, you wreak your vengeance on that team. Bynum came to Philadelphia with all of the energy of a guy catching a bus.

This was a bad guy before he got hurt. He's a worse guy now. And he's already made over $70 million. How, exactly, are you supposed to motivate him on Team #4 at age 25?

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