Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Top 10 next steps in the Seattle vs. San Francisco Feud

Can You Feel The Hype Tonight
For the past month, the cities have been exchanging outdoor advertising barbs, with Niner Fans pointing to their rings, and Seahawk Fan noting that Niner Fan doesn't seem to actually know when or if to cheer their team. What's next in the bad blood?

10) Macklemore to release an explosive battle rap about San Francisco's increasing real estate values taking the vitality out of the area's rap scene

9) Both cities agree not to make eye contact with Oakland, since those mothers are crazy

8) Nasty feud over which city is more earnest about their recycling and devotion to eating locally

7) Sir Mix-A-Lot and Del The Funkee Homosapien to settle their epic beef the only way that '90s novelty rappers can -- bare knuckle cage match

6) Media agrees to take seriously the idea that a city feud between two towns that oppose each other in just one sport, and have done so earnestly for just the past 10 to 15 years, matters because they are just both so adorable

5) Increasingly unhinged behavior over which town can obsess more about coffee

4) Bay Area fans start wearing Thunder gear and speaking in drawls

3) In a rare moment of unity, both cities agree that Portland is filled with the most insufferable people on the planet

2) As the next winner will take an unstoppable 16-15 lead in the all-time series, accept that the beef ends, once and for all, with this game

1) San Francisco Chamber of Commerce passes bill to prevent Marshawn Lynch from coming to the area again, given his past record of earthquake causation

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