Thursday, December 26, 2013

Top 10 reasons why the Cowboys signed Jon Kitna

QBer Than Thou
10) Wanted to make sure their QB3 was older and more turnover prone than either the starter or back up, so as not to cause locker room issues

9) He's saved up a lot of yards in the 27 months since last completing a pass in the NFL

8) Were somehow able to tempt him away from teaching math in Tacoma (no, seriously, he was teaching math in Tacoma)

7) He looked better in the tryout than David Carr, Tyler Thigpen, John Skelton, Caleb Hanie, Brad Johnson, Drew Bledsoe, Vinny Testaverde, Drew Henson, Quincy Carter, Chad Hutchinson, Anthony Wright, Ryan Leaf, Clint Stoemer or, and this was awkward, Jason Garrett

6) Is familiar with the playbook and system, which should not in any way cause Cowboy Fans to lose faith that these things have not changed in three years, since there is no such thing as personnel turnover or scouting in the NFL

5) Kitna's big on Christianity, which will make God finally look kindly upon the Cowboys, and against the Eagles

4) Stephen McGee was unwilling to take a professional step down by giving up his CFL job

3) Were limited in tryouts to just the QBs that GM Jerry Jones had on speed dial

2) Whenever you can sign a league MVP QB, even if it's from NFL Europe in the last century, you pretty much have to do that

1) Had no idea that QBs ever actually get hurt, and that it might be important to, you know, have more than one

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