Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Top 10 signs that Washington's Mike Shanahan is trying to get fired

Washington coach Mike Shanahan stands to make $7 million in 2014 if he's fired by owner / tyrant / menace / lunkhead Daniel Snyder, leading many to believe that he's trying to force the asshat's hand by benching QB Robert Griffin. As always, FTT is here to provide Additional Clues!

10) Considered moving Griffin to slot receiver and special teams before benching

9) Now thinks that the team should change the team nickname to, you know, something that isn't a ridiculously insensitive and outdated racial slur

8) Is bringing in Albert Haynesworth for the pre-game motivational speech before next week's game against Atlanta

7) Thinks the guys who cross-dress while wearing pig noses are "a little faggy", which given the District's enlightened views, should get him heat from both sides of the aisle

6) Refuses to file his TPS reports, lend anyone his stapler, or work on weekends

5) Expressing the view that anyone who believes in Scientology has to be not just unbelievably stupid, but also a closet furry

4) Keeps singing this in press conferences

3) Won't stop telling pool reporters about how much fun his family has had over the years at Disney, Universal, Sea World, Legoland, Kings Dominion, Cedar Point, Knoebels, Dollywood, Marty's Brood Mare Circus, PlagueWorld, Root Canal Carnival and Iggy's Roadside Hobo Circle Jerk... but that they've never enjoyed Six Flags

2) Keeps comparing everything Snyder does to Al Davis

1) Um, signs aren't terribly important when the greatest dream of any American worker is to get paid for making Snyder fire you

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