Sunday, February 16, 2014

Top 12 takeaways from Ray Rice's casino arrest

Whoopsie
12) Rice's big mistake was having at issue at Revel, which means there won't be anyone around to distract the cops from making an arrest

11) Since Rice's fiance is female, this doesn't count as a true Media Distraction

10) Atlantic City is just thrilled that something, anything, happened there

9) There is no truth to the rumor that Bernard Pierce got away easily with the exact same crime

8) Rice won't be charged with evading arrest, which is its own sad little punch line

7) The news was met with fist pumps by all of Rice's 2013 fantasy owners

6) Raven Fans who were witnesses to the altercation chanted "Bulls***" at the cops, of course

5) This falls into the old saying, "What happens in Atlantic City, stays everywhere but Atlantic City"

4) Now that casino gambling is allowed online in New Jersey, Rice could have just gotten into it with his fiancee in the privacy of his hotel room

3) Ray Lewis is very disappointed in Rice, in that the altercation is still alleged

2) Rice has no prior arrests and is active in an anti-bullying campaign, so we can pretty much chalk this one up to the inevitable end of life head trauma degeneration

1) This was described as a slight physical altercation, so we're pretty sure Rice went down like a ton of bricks

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