Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Top 10 takeaways from Indianapolis Colts' Owner Jim Irsay's DUI Arrest

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10) There goes one of the few truly fun Twitter accounts in sports

9) This will really embarrass the good people of Indianapolis, who have never had to endure the shame of an aging drunk white man

8) Any chance of beating the charge went out the window when the cops got a good look at his outfit

7) Irsay's lack of a Boston accent and failure to DUI without pants is just unfortunate for all of us looking for cheap humor points here

6) Between this legal trouble and his pending divorce, Irsay's net worth is likely to go from more money than you or I could ever spend in ten lifetimes to more money than you or I could ever spend in ten lifetimes

5) Irsay is the seventh Colts player or official to be arrested in the last 50 months, so the team is right on average for NFL teams in that regard

4) If convicted on all four felony counts, Irsay could do 12 years in prison, which would be 12 years more than any billionaire has ever gone to prison in the United States

3) Baltimore Colts' Fan is wondering why I'm being so easy on him right about now

2) I think that this, once and for all, shows the world why everyone who has made an unconscionable amount of money from sports needs a posse

1) Irsay is damned lucky that his impaired driving didn't result in an accident or fatality, because those cost real money

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