Friday, April 18, 2014

Top 10 Takeaways About Donovan McNabb's Day In Jail In Arizona

And When There Were No Crawdad, We Ate Sand. You Ate What? We Ate Sand.
10) At some point in this country, we're not going to love the fact that mug shots are damn near universal for African-American men

9) If you are a person of some financial means, and choose to live in Maricopa County, you may be a candidate for concussion aftermath testing

8) Regardless of your feelings for McNabb or whatever crime he served time for (TMZ says it was DUI after a mild speeding offense), it's just plain reprehensible to post the mug shot and not attach it to the offense, just so you can be dicks about it and let the racists attach any rumor they like to it

7) Once again, the preventive nature of the Posse / Designated Driver service is proven

6) Perhaps it would just be better if anyone who has their number retired for my laundry is also then executed on the field, just so we don't have the next 20 to 40 years of waiting for them to appear in crime reports

5) You folks who are waiting for the McNabb vomited in the Super Bowl and probably vomited here too because vomit is funny and tee hee hee really don't need me to do much on this matter

4) If Fox Sports One is very lucky, they'll be able to weather the PR storm from their association with McNabb, because that network has been so super-relevant with him

3) This off-season just keeps giving aid and comfort to fans of other teams in the NFC East, which is not, um, the preferred way to run a railroad

2) This is really not going to do much for McNabb's eventual Favre-esque Loathed Comeback Attempt

1) Looking at the bright side of things, McNabb just got through an encounter with Maricopa County law enforcement without getting deported to Mexico, demonized for his sexual orientation, turned into an object for roadside plantation style amusement, stealing a toddler, or getting attacked by the Lone Biker Of  The Apocalypse

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