Friday, May 2, 2014

FTT Off-Topic: The Dental Nightmares Of My Childhood

Not sports, not apologizing.

I don't know why my brain fired on this today, but , well, it did. So watch the following Saturday morning TV commercial from 30-odd years ago, and we'll discuss.

Watching this little 30 second television spot brings back potent memories from my childhood. And it also made me ask the following questions...

> At the seven second mark, we see the Creeps standing on solid ground, in what appears to be a jungle setting. Is this my nose?

> How have the Creeps acquired binoculars and drills? Is Toothopolis the host of a traitorous arms dealer?

> Why were the teeth a perfect ring? What kind of monsters have circles of teeth in their heads?

> Should we draw any conclusion from the fact that the vast majority of people in Toothopolis are all white and blonde, while all of the attacking Cavity Creeps are black?

> How impaired were the Creeps to wait until they sense a vulnerability in their enemies' defense, but dumb enough to attack in broad daylight and at the top of the tooth, where everyone can see them?

> Under what conditions does broad daylight exist in my mouth?

> Toothopolis appears to be an island fort / siege city, at sea. How do they manage to feed their citizens and military force?

> I admire the Creeps' esprit de corps and joyful singing as they charge into battle, but have they ever considered not singing their plans out loud?

> Have the Toothopolis para-military explored any meaningful attempts at peace or co-existence, or are we simply rooting for an eternal siege state?

> When the gel weapon is deployed, it does so on a platform tooth, which can seemingly rise and fall at the behest of the Toothopolis Defense Group (TDG). Are retractable teeth a side effect of using this product?

> Rather than continue the fight, the TDG  simply watches the threat retreat more or less at their leisure. Is Crest secretly trying to ensure the Creeps are a perpetual threat, so they can better keep the residents of Toothopolis under their unending rule?

> Is anyone else disturbed by the idea that are multitudes inside your mouth, including a dog?

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