Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Top 10 reasons why the WWE's stock price tanked

That's Gotta Hurt, McMahon

Normally I don't spend too much time looking at the business pages or how it relates to the low priority that is Sports Entertainment, but when a stock goes from over $30 a share to just over $10 in less than a week... List Ensues!

10) Investors finally remembered how the brains of the WWE also paid major bank into Linda McMahon's multiple Senate campaigns

9) Wrestlemania, like mainstream media coverage, only comes once a year

8) Savvy investors taking their lead from the company's new breakthrough character, "Terrifying Bad Financial News Barrett"

7) Individual shares of stock have been found lying unconscious and bloodied, and surrounded by large numbers of malicious detractors with weapons

6) Disappointed CM Punk fans finally giving up and getting lives

5) The accomplishment of beating Ted Turner at something sees to grow less impressive over time

4) Investors losing faith in the company's stock analysts, who hail from Parts Unknown and just seem to wait around for a signal to beat on people with their attache cases

3) While the company has a Netflix-like online network, social media and international markets, it still makes the critical mistake of actually employing humans in a for-profit enterprise, which means it can't possibly be as valuable as software companies that don't actually make money or have employees

2) Core audience of the under-aged and under-employed not exactly conducive to high valuations

1) Investor incentive program of a spandex-clad reality TV dropout to cater to your every whim loses appeal once symptoms manifest

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