Thursday, May 1, 2014

Top 10 ways the NBA is going to force Donald Sterling to sell the Clippers

Have Some Fruit, Donald
10) Keep telling him that some group is going to give him some award, then jerk it away

9) Tell Charles Oakley that Sterling owes him money

8) Until the sale is announced, provide him with a permanent personal security force manned by the Fruits of Islam

7) Hire that Stiviano woman to follow him around and ask him if he wants to talk some more

6) Ask his estranged wife to give it another chance

5) Create a conspiracy of rich guys to call him to make an offer every hour on the hour, with each offer going down a little bit

4) Ask President Obama to lend them some drones for, um, observation

3) Have LeBron James lecture him some more about what he can and can't fake in front of a camera

2) Start scheduling those $2.5 million fines for every day of the week that ends with a y

1) Give Snoop Dogg his home address to share with all of his social media followers

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