Thursday, June 5, 2014

A Brief, Ardent, And Pointless NBA Finals Prayer

Let it attack ESPN, Please
Dear Lord,

Yes, I know, it's been too long. This is, of course, an excuse, but I'm in that middle ground age where I'm not terrified of oblivion enough to make the effort...  but I'm not young enough to be oblivious to it, and have seen people younger than me shake the mortal coil. And, more importantly, I know that I'm powerless over some things in my life.

The one that's really causing me concern today, a day before the NBA Finals starts, is the ESPN coverage of said event.

I understand that humans being what they are, we need stick to go with carrot, and one of your small ways to give us the hint about the sticky place is to give airtime to lesser demons like Jeff van Gundy, Mark Jackson, Jalen Rose and Bill Simmons. Trust me, the idea of being trapped in a room for all eternity with any of these entities is enough to make me love my neighbor, tithe, and make significant dietary adjustments.

And I also get that the entire enterprise is not really in your wheelhouse, given that we all know that Disney and all of its subsidiaries are solidly in the camp of the Horned One. Not saying that you couldn't call in a favor or flex some muscle, but we're supposed to show patience in the long plan.

Rather, here's what I'm asking for.

For a solid majority of the telecast, for it to be about the actual game that's happening.

Not LeBron James' decision to come to Miami. Not the Spurs raging against the dying of the light. Not Dwyane Wade's fantastic humility to not dominate the ball when he's clearly the second, or maybe even the third, best player on his team.

Not Donald Sterling, or whatever Mark Cuban is saying, or what Phil Jackson is going to do in New York, or how the Warriors will perform without Jackson. Not even what these games mean to Miami's upcoming free agent decisions, or James' legacy, or whether Gregg Popovich will be leaving if he wins, or if Duncan will also be out the door...

Or, in other words, if we could, just for a few hours, watch the freaking game.

Since we're going to have literally months and months of the game not being on to discuss all of that other nonsense...

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