Tuesday, September 30, 2014

I'm Blackmailing The New England Patriot Fan Base

Ka Ching
Hopefully, I have your attention now.

Remember 2008, kids? That was the year in which your Hall of Fame to be QB went down in the first quarter of the first game, when Bernard Pollard and the Kansas City Chiefs turns your man into a bystander for the rest of the year. That was the worst year in fantasy football to own the Brady, until, well, this year... when he's gone 2-2 with 2 ass-kicking blowouts, has put up numbers similar to those of guys who no longer start, and has thrown deep balls as if his last name was Detmer.

Want to know the commonality between these years?

They are the only ones in which I've drafted Brady for my fantasy squad.

Everywhere in fantasy football, people are dropping Brady for flavors of the week like Kirk Cousins or Teddy Bridgewater or even, God help them, Kyle Orton. (Hey, unlike Brady, he's got a WR1 in Sammy Watkins.)

That's not going to be me. I'm keeping him; I'm going to own him into the fires of hell. (On my bench, please. Matt Ryan is saving my bacon in a big way.)

So, why am I keeping him? It's very, very simple, Patriot Fan: I Hate Your Team. And Brady. And I'm going to keep him around, rub him up with my stink (Want to know my backup QB last year? EJ Manuel. No, seriously) until your eyes water. I'm going to keep him around until this season is well and truly lost for the Patriots, since Ryan doesn't have a bye until Week Nine. It's going to be my version of public service.

Unless, of course, you people pay up.

Consider it a Kickstarter for your club, a crowd-sourcing effort to do the only thing you can do for your beloved team. You don't want to see Brady go out like this, do you? Bill Belichick isn't going to put him on an ice floe like Drew Bledsoe and send him to Buffalo; he's going down the drain with him, rather than try the backup and adjust the offense to personnel that aren't sitting ducks for a pass rush that's always getting there. You don't want your last memory of Brady to be the guy who was in that Chiefs MNF game, right?

PayPal link's at the top of the blog, people.

Give 'til it hurts... or embrace the hurt.

Either way, I'm winning big.

Unlike, well, your team...

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