9) Does Subway really want to be affiliated with Bob Griffin any more?
8) Will Patrick Warburton paint himself for National as per his Seinfeldian past?
7) Are families with Nest Dropcams breeding terrifyingly self-aware children?
6) Do Ameritrade customers lose all sense of decorum for ordinary levels of customer service?
5) If I shop at Macy's, will I cover songs from "Grease" in ways that will make people want to beat me with a baseball bat?
4) Why are Subway eaters ready to murder each other over a sandwich?
3) Are the children of Prius owners as insufferable as their parents?
2) How sad is it that anyone could tell the story of their lives with a purchase from a mass-market jewelry store, anyway?
1) Will anyone make their choice of new car based on what a guy with a comb in his hair says?