Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Chip Kelly Trolls Eagle Fan With Tim Tebow

Let's Get Trolling
So after several years of not playing NFL Football, following several years of not playing NFL Football as if he were his actual stated position of Quarterback, my Eagles brought in Tim Tebow today for a workout.

No, seriously.

The last time the man with perhaps the least qualified arm in NFL QB history got into a game was 2012, when the sideshow ended in New York. New England brought him in for a training camp stint just to see if they could turn him into something as part of their eternal noogy-based war against the Jets, then realized, um, dear God no, the man can't throw a football worth a Bible verse. And we're not even talking about one of the good ones. Tebow begat 11 for 30 for 145 yards, 2 TD, 2 INTs, and that's in pre-season against people who aren't going to be in the league.)Tebow has spent his time since cashing in on his Christian celebrity by being ESPN and the SEC Network's man in Red State college footballery, which makes all kinds of sense, really. But I guess the heart wants what it wants.

The club let him finish his derpery and go without a deal, so maybe this is just harmless headline bait to remind us all that Chip Kelly Is Still Alive, what with the coming up on over half a week anniversary of no major personnel moves. (And no, even if they had signed God's Own Terrible QB, he would not have been Major Personnel.)

As with seemingly all things in the Kelly Era, there are two ways to look at this kerfluffle. The first is that no harm, no foul, and maybe he was just trying to tweak Bill Belichick's nose into showing that he's the better coach after all. Getting some value out of this slug would be some kind of trick. The second is that Chip is Boy GM with No Clue other than Do Public Things, and while he's at it, he might as well go give Matt Barkley a wedgie, seeing as he's kind of done that by not giving him the Week 17 Giants game, and by re-signing Proven Turnover Machine Mark Sanchez to be Expensive Disaster QB2.

But honestly, after a week and a half of Jets-level tabloid hijinks, a day of Tebow seems like just the thing, really. Let others be limited by the hidebound notion that a QB that can't complete the simplest of throws with consistency can't possibly suit up for your franchise. Chip Knows More Than You Do. Let others wonder about the possibly divisive nature that this might infuse into a locker room that wasn't entirely drafted for piety. Chip Know Culture Better Than You Do. You might be wondering why anyone with a brain in their head would want to recreate the 2012 Jets with Sanchez and Tebow, especially if the latter were to be that dreaded Change Of Pace (as in, we had pace, then Tebow came in, and that changed) QB that the defense welcomes with open arms and no one more than seven yards off the line of scrimmage. Chip Can Scheme Around That. And finally, let others speculate that he really doesn't have a Master Plan, and that he's making it all up as he goes along. Chip Says He's Got It All Figured Out, Now Don't You Worry Your Little Heads About It.

Anyone ever wonder if Chip really does believe that Parade or Pariah stuff they spew on talk radio? Because if today wasn't just for them... then who the hell was it for?

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