Monday, April 6, 2015

Top Ten Takeaways From MLB Opening Day

Note the empty seats in the outfield
10) If you started Kyle Lohse against the Rockies in your fantasy league, you've already lost the year, and if you started Kyle Kendrick, shut up, no one started Kyle Freaking Kendrick

9) It was an absolutely beautiful day in Philadelphia, at least until the Phillies took the field

8) Yankee Fan cheered A-Rod in what can only be described as future trolling

7) ESPN2 chose to show the Astros to a national audience, just to prove that yes, this is a very new year

6) Matt Kemp had his vengeance on the Dodgers, but in what is likely to be a recurring theme, it wasn't enough

5) Atlanta dealt away Craig Kimbrel, then got 7 outs, no base runners and 3 strikeouts and a save from Jim Johnson and Jason Grilli, because Small Sample Sizes Are Fun

4) Oakland let go of Jon Lester and Jeff Samardzjia, who both got hammered, because Billy Beane Is A Genius (Until The Playoffs)

3) Cub Fan learned that watching the Cubs lose in a shutout can actually be more painful and unpleasant through the simple removal of working bathrooms

2) David Price ran out of gas just in time to get Joe Nathan the cheap bunny save that he needs to convince clueless people that the Tiger bullpen won't be a monumental problem

1) As the NBA only played one game, the NCAA was playing its championship game with 50% Duke Content in The Gay Hate State, and Chip Kelly was medically sedated, a lot of people actually noticed Baseball Is Back

1 comment:

Five Tool Ninja said...

In Philly, the empty outfield seats in the first inning were due to the MLB Metal Detector Experience. The empty outfield seats in innings 5-9 were due to the Phillies 2015 experience.

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