Sunday, September 20, 2015

Top 10 Week 2 NFL Ad Questions

Hurt Me With Fruit
10) Are all State Farm customers insufferable slackers who saddle their doormat parents with snakes?

9) Does anyone drink a Redd's Apple Ale before being assaulted?

8) Why does JJ Watt hate wood, why does he wear his uniform and pads while chopping it, and how does this have anything to do with a wireless data plan?

7) Is NFL.com convinced that everyone who plays fantasy football is incapable of holding a human conversation?

6) Has anyone told Under Armour that every region outside of New England consider Tom Brady to be despicable, and consequently, really might not be enthused about buying his gear?

5) If I buy a Lincoln, will I find myself constantly mumbling to cows?

4) Has Mazda hired its voice over announced for maximum smugness?

3) Why does NFL Shop think that Giants Female Fan and Jets Female Fan would have skin-slapping friendship?

2) Would my Honda cost less, or would the Acura NSX ever actually ship, if Honda wasn't distracted by making robots and stop-motion wanking animation?

1) If I purchase an Audi plug-in hybrid, will I be subject to accusatory stares from everyone in my disturbingly sedate suburban neighborhood?

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