Sunday, October 4, 2015

Top 16 excuses for Chip Kelly, which totally answer the Eagles 1-3 start

As soon as I tune it, Rocking Happens
16) As soon as he gets rid of more Andy Reid guys while getting back nothing for them, every thing will be fine

15)We're judging him on a very small sample size of decades of football teams winning Super Bowls and playoff games while not being anything like this

14) If we would all just stop being so impatient, QB Sam Bradford will develop into someone who is nearly as good as Nick Foles

13) The sun was in his eyes, which, to be fair, have a hard time with sunlight, owing to the piggy amounts of flab

12) Opponents are somehow predicting the offensive play calls, from the six total plays that the team runs

11) No one could predict major offensive line issues when you release the starters from a club that didn't have a good enough offensive line last year, and didn't sign or draft anyone of note

10) True offensive genius is never appreciated while the genius is still alive

9) Relying on a rookie WR to replace a Pro Bowl guy should have worked

8) No one could predict that DeMarco Murray would look old and slow after a 450-touch season

7) No one could imagine, from his past history in San Diego, that Ryan Mathews would have ball security issues

6) Drafting and trading for injured guys never results in having a roster filled with guys who get hurt

5) Howie Roseman exists

4) It's all Jason Peters' fault for failing to deal with his selfish age issues

3) Spending your preseason denying that your kicker is hurt, and running a mascotty linebacker guy who doesn't resemble a kicker in any way, never blows up in your face

2) Winning 10 games for your first two years in a terrible division, while failing to win a playoff game and pissing away a division lead last year while en route to losing six of your last seven games that mattered, just means that people who criticize your are meanie head naysayers

1) It turns out that Scheme Beats Culture, Talent Beats Sucking Up To The Coach, and Little People Who Are Good At Football Beat Big People Who Are Not Very Good At Football

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