|I Smart I Eat Sandwich Makes Head Soft|
9) Why does Bob Dylan wander around with an electric guitar, but no amplifier?
8) Does using FedEx give one curious ideas about toilet blockage?
7) Are Acura engineers having sex with their crash test dummies?
6) If I clean my Cricket phone, can I keep those disgusting little jelly blobs off of it?
5) Is there any NFL employee that doesn't tell his work screw-up story to Aaron Rodgers?
4) If I used Pennzoil, will helicopters move my driving surface around, and more or less prevent me from getting anywhere?
3) Wouldn't you, upon inventing a time machine, use it for far more interesting purposes than a freaking iPhone?
2) Why does every daily fantasy player look like they are in the midst of a month-long meth bender?
1) Does anyone else watch the Subway helmet ad in anticipation of a giant foot coming down and squashing everyone?