|Assault Me With Fruit|
9) Will McDonald's spokeswhores wear anything for a buck, and if so, can we get something more unfortunate than rival team gear?
8) If Toyota is correct and there is only one road, doesn't that make for an unconscionable amount of traffic?
7) Do Redd's Apple Ale drinkers suffer mental issues after being struck in the head, and if not, why do they talk like mobsters from a Bugs Bunny cartoon from 70 years ago?
6) Does the Haines underwear for the guy who is teaching the terrible student driver also have a pad for bladder issues?
5) Is Subway giving away free sandwiches the best way to get us to forget about how their former salesman something something?
4) When Ford says a truck is military grade, does that mean it's the product of a massively corrupt government spending program that persists only because of multi-sourced manufacturing?
3) Can I shop at Wal-Mart if I'm actually smart enough to not leave my keys in the car?
2) Are our nation's scientists and tech people working on anything other than cell phones?
1) Can't the NFL Network find someone more exciting than a retired judge and a morbidly obese food carnie to hype the Battle of Ohio?