Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Brief and Obvious Questions For Anyone Who Thinks The Eagles Should, Or Will, Bring Chip Kelly Back in 2016

Play Yourself Off
Have you actually watched any significant amount of Eagle Football this year?

And, a follow up...

Is your favorite laundry another team in the NFC lEast?

This is not a bad stretch of games. This is a team that has decided, as individuals, to make sure they do not get hurt in the last stretch of games for a guy who does not know his ass from a hole in the ground. This is a town where the media has to try to get people to keep paying attention, because there is literally *nothing* else. Even at 4-7, the Eagles have more of a chance at the playoffs than any other team in town, because they have any chance at all. So we get Colin Kaepernick this and Bob Griffin that, and True Mobile QBs will seize the day and make it all work, despite the fact that the only reason both of those guys are going to be on the market is that True Mobile QBs do not work. (With the noted exception of Russell Wilson, who is mobile because he's small, and has freakish awareness to rarely take big hits, and throws one of the best deep balls in the NFL. Anyway.)

Oh, and FFS with the Two Ten Win Seasons In His First Two Years talk. Both of those teams did that in a tire fire of a division where no one won a playoff game. The 2013 team did it with the QB Fluke Year for the Ages from Nick Foles. The 2014 team did it with the Special Teams Fluke Year for the Ages. Nero also did it with Andy Reid's players, and while the end of the Reid Era was also butt ugly, he still left Nero with more Pro Bowl players on offense than Kelly will ever see again. (Having run them all out of town for absolutely no return on investment, and yes, that means I've thrown the towel in on LB Kiko Alonso, and you should as well. Dude can't stay healthy, and thinks more about that than playing. A good team doesn't give him snaps at all.)

Evey Eagle Fan I know is rooting for them to not win another game this year. Every Eagle Fan I know wants Nero Chump gone, gone, gone. Every Eagle Fan I know can't stand watching this team, and either hates himself for still watching, or just gave up halfway through the Thanksgiving game, and might return in a year, maybe, if Real Change comes to town.

Why, on God's green earth, would a team want another year of this? Why, on God's green earth, would anyone buy tickets to see it, swag that identifies one with it, or even waste leisure hours on it, if not for lifelong idiot habit?

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